Getting your family on board

One question I have seen come up again and again from women (or men) who are trying to help their families get on board with making changes to the foods they eat is, "How can I get my husband/wife/kids/partner/friend/parents/roommate on board?" 

Far too often, I see answers such as, "Just quit buying junk food, and he won't have a choice." or, "You are the one buying the groceries and cooking the meals, so why should he be able to command what you buy or make?".  This is not my answer because really, I do not want to be the food tyrant in my home. {image source}

{image source} I really think it is important to keep in mind that the other people in your home, those you share your food with, should have a say in what you are eating.   I think I have realized recently that I tend to act like the "expert" on the subject of food in our home, and that probably isn't such a great idea.  Making my husband feel inferior on this will not accomplish anything.  However giving him a voice in the conversation helps me appreciate things from his view and also helps him be part of the process.

If your kids are reluctant to try new foods, find age-appropriate ways to get your family involved with the entire process.  Whether it is shopping, researching the best way to pick, store and prepare foods, cooking, or other forms of exploration, get your kids involved! I have a whole list of ideas for this, but that will be another post. For me, this means that I try to keep my husband up to date with the research I am doing.  He may not want to sit down and read all the blog posts, websites, or books I am reading, but he is willing to listen to me ramble about all of it and what I think about it.  This also keeps me from having certain expectations about what we will and won't eat while he is totally in the dark about that. {image source}

Don't force it.  My daughter is only 8 months old, but if she does not like a food, I don't force her to eat it though I will persist in asking her to try new foods.  I really want eating to be an enjoyable experience for her.  When I fed her sweet potatoes, she made some very dramatic coughing noises to let me know she did not appreciate them.  I let her just have her grains and tried again for a few days.  She still persisted with the overly-dramatic coughing, so I let it go.  That was last month, and I am going to try again this month, but if she doesn't like them, I won't force her.  Same goes for my husband.  On Sunday night I tried cooking the green leaves from our radishes, and I let him know that if he didn't like them, I wouldn't be offended if he didn't eat them.  He was willing to try it, and I totally appreciated that. By the way, neither of us like the radish greens.  oh well!

{image source} Be willing to compromise.  Just after I posted my final reflections on Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, I was asked to go get McDonald's for dinner.  Seriously?!  Yes.  And I went.  I can tell you that it was not my first (or 10th) choice for dinner, but I ask my husband to eat a lot of foods he might not be excited about, and to have a double standard on that would not be fair.  I just ordered a salad with no meat (and fries of course; they really do taste good!), and I enjoyed my dinner (with only one comment about praying I would not get e coli. I am sure he could have done without that.)  I also try to buy him specific items he asks for at the grocery store.

Remember that change happens slowly and give your family and friends the time they need to process those changes.  Help them in the ways they best respond to and be willing to hear them when they disagree.

Finally, I want to say that if you are the one who does the shopping and cooking, then of course it is ok for you to make decisions about what you are buying and feeding your family--I just don't suggest that you do it in an "all or nothing, my way or the highway" manner.  When I go grocery shopping, I am constantly making decisions about which apples, bananas, squash, cereal, or milk to buy--all without making twenty different phone calls home to be sure it ok that I get "this, not that".  I am the one who decides to bring in the reusable bags or ask for paper once in a while when we need that.  I am the one who decides whether the milk will be organic or if I am going to hold off on buying eggs until I can make it to the farmers market.  

These are some tips that I have found work for me, and I would love hear to hear what works for you.